Directness

Good evening,

Today was a cooler day weather wise; which I was very appreciative of. Like I said in my previous post, in hot and humid weather I end up getting a bad headache which pretty much cancels any type of productive evening. However, tonight I was able to make a delicious dinner and torture myself in my kettle-bell exercise class that Nathaniel and I attend twice a week. Thus, it also allows me to sit at a computer and write my blog. So far I have missed a day of my 7 day goal - but that is okay - nothing comes out of limiting myself. Plus, I was able to write a few paragraphs of my first Vegan article. I am still working on a direction but I am getting some fantastic ideas. More detail on that later.

This blog is going to be about directness. What do I mean by directness? Well it is characteristic that I value in my friends and people I associate with on a daily basis. I feel that it is important that people be direct and honest between one another. There is nothing more that irks me when I know that someone is lying, avoiding, or just being dishonest about a situation or their feelings. It can be seen it in their body language. Plus, if you are an intuitive individual (which I feel I am), you can tell when someone is not being direct/honest/true with you.

I understand that in some circumstances directness should be avoided because it is not the appropriate time nor place. But ultimately, if you continually get the feeling that someone isn't being honest with you or you feel you should be honest with them; I believe that it is your gut instinct telling you that the situation will only be resolved if the 'white elephant in the room' is finally pointed out.

So many people avoid being honest with each other out of fear of hurting one another, losing friends, or having someone hate them etc... Why?

I used to be like that. I used to avoid telling people how I felt or be direct with someone I felt was being dishonest or avoiding me. However, in the end I would hurt because I would wonder, "Well what is wrong with me?", "Did I do/say something?" "What is it about me that they don't want to be honest?". Plus, I have also been in situations when I was not direct/open about my feelings and people ended up getting hurt because I just avoided them.

Over the last year and a half, I learned that I wanted to be more me. I was tired of avoiding and watching people be dishonest to me - as I was once with them. I was unhappy. I needed to make a change. I decided I wanted to live in in the Now and in Truth. Now, I am honest with people about how I feel. Yes, I have lost some friends and yes, some people feel uncomfortable when I just say how it is, or "point out the elephant in the room". However, I have also attracted some really wonderful people in my life who appreciate my honesty and friendship. I know now that these are people are friends/family who accept me for me. Not a shadow of me.

Lies create nothing but emptiness in people. It makes them feel alone and disconnected. Why would anyone want to be in a world so fake? I do understand because I was once there and it was protection. However, I learned that that Truth may hurt but the wounds heal quicker and leave less scars.

So that is my rant on directness. :) Here is a funny clip from Britain's The IT Crowd. Sometimes being open with someone is like opening up a Red Door ;)

Behind the Red Door - IT Crowd