This always seems to happen. When I finally get time to sit down and write something in my blog, I have a great idea of what to rant about and I forget. It tends to be frustrating. However, so much goes on in my mind throughout the day, I am not surprised by my lack of focus.

Well, that has been my life the past few weeks. As Nathaniel and I prepare for some of the big changes coming our way, I seem to be lacking some focus. I am not lacking focus on everything we need to do to prepare for our new adventure ahead of us. If anything, I am too focused and driving Nathaniel up the wall with getting all our ducks in a row. Some insight into me, I am the type of person who needs to have a Plan A-Z, and if I am not in control of one aspect of the plan, I worry and become panicked. In previous relationships, my partners just allowed me to have control and steer the direction of our relationship. With Nathaniel, he will not allow me to have total control and keeps reminding me that he does his part in everything differently and that I need to trust him. That everything will be alright and work out as it is meant to be. This has been a hard pill to swallow. But I am doing it not matter how uncomfortable it is.

That being said, since I am trying to 'some' relinquish control and do what I can. While I am doing that, I am working on bring back focus on to myself, more specifically the my inner child. With Spring here (minus the cold and snow still), I am feeling energized and getting in touch with things that help relax me during this stress.

I will return with more of  my thoughts for spring. I got distracted looking at apartments in Ottawa and now I have to make some dinner :)