but I'll stand my ground...and I won't back down" Tom Petty Full Moon Fever
Well, I am a little frustrated. I had written this great entry and I accidently deleted it on myself. I am assuming it was the universe telling me not to post it and re-write. I apologize that this post is a week late, however funny thing, since my last posts I have learned some very interesting things about myself and received some pretty insightful messages.
The last week as been intense and eye-opening about myself and the people around me. I am always telling others to stand up for themselves, however when it comes to myself I work hard to avoid confrontation. Yet, for the last year, I had been experiencing bullying/intimidation in the workplace from a individual in management. For a long time, I just walked away and figured I could manage it. However, in the last few months not only has this individual's behavior escalated with other employees, but I was beginning to see the signs of stress and anxiety taking it's toll on my physical body and mind set. I have found meditation to help re-center myself on those days. However while it was helping, I was still experiencing anxiety before entering the workplace. Even though I was using the tools I was taught to handle stress and constantly asking for guidance and assistance to make it through the day. I feel that the universe was saying very strongly that it did not want me to just "make it through the day".
Things escalated last week in my workplace which led to a confrontation with myself in the middle. While under emotional distress, I retreated with my husband to his parent's home in the Muskoka's to unwind and re-group, especially since I was meeting with the owner today to discuss what had happened and had been happening.
While in Muskoka, I battled myself from worrying about outcomes that hadn't happened yet and to trying to relax and trust all was in prefect order. I spent the weekend asking for guidance and messages about this particular situation. I received these messages in the the funniest of ways from manifesting my favorite Vegan icing sugar ,Wholesome Sweeteners Organic Icing Sugar, (hard to come by where I live), watching a Star Trek Voyager episode on conquering FEAR, and the inspirational documentary on Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers: Runnin' Down a Dream. From each experience, I remembered the importance of how we think and feel affects the manifestation of our desires. That we must always trust in ourselves to know what we want and trust that all will be alright, as long as we stay in alignment with our true desires. As well as the importance of standing your ground when injustices are being done.
While I was still nervous and worried about the outcome of my meeting with the owner. I worked hard to stay calm and trust in what is in alignment with the universe. I was even asking Michael to assist me in remaining calm, strong, and true to myself. I was emotional, yet I remained composed. Then a miraculous thing happened, the same message I received from the owner was the same one that I had been receiving all weekend. To trust that everything happens for a reason, all will be well, and importantly to not allow others to put you in a state of fear. That I am a worthy individual who deserves to be treated with respect and that there are times when people recognize it and at other time some people refuse to see that and when they do - those are the times in which we must stand up for ourselves and make our voice heard because nothing will change if we don't stay true to ourselves.
In some situations we look for the easy way out, and yet, for a lesson to be learned and an experience to be gained - some ways are not the easy ways.
I forget this message at times. However, I should know that by now. Even being a Vegan is not easy (not in the food sense but the social sense ;) ). However, I would not change that for the world! In the last year of being Vegan I have learned a great deal about myself and learning to be true. However, I know now that I must also learn to speak up for myself as well as for the animals :)
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