The month before the move was hard. While Nathaniel was excited about moving forward with our lives. I began to have reservations and mixed feelings about leaving behind a place I had called home for some many years; and yet it was me who deceided she wanted to go back to school and leave behind the family drama, old friendships and past boyfriends. But I guess when there are bad memories the good ones are mixed in. In the last month amongst the choas of packing and sorting out all the minor details, I was reminded of those good times and those good people. During that time, I learned alot about some of my friendships and the power of attraction.
In many of the new age and higher awareness books/articles that Nathaniel and I have read, we always come across the saying that the energy you vibrate in attracts people who are like that energy. So if you surround yourself with negative energy, thoughts, and patterns you will likely attract the same type of people. We have all had that experience with the lairs, manipulators, users, complainers, downers, doubters etc... and we wonder, "Why do I attract such people?" However, we don't look at ourselves and how we treat ourselves. We complain about our physial appearance, pick on ourselves and literally become our own worse enemies. Well, I know I have been there and have asked myself the same questions. Yet in the last year, I have worked to change that energy and to 'vibrate' in a more positive field. Yes, I still have a dark side to myself and I believe we all do. I just do not allow that side of myself to control my life and dictate who the people in my life are and will be. All my-self work has showen results in the last two months.
For example: The week before we moved to Ottawa. The job we believed Nathaniel had fell through due to lack of federal funding. I panicked and almost instantly took it as a sign that we were not supposed to move. The day before my brother and I reconciled after a year and a half of not talking. So of course, many mixed feelings started to come up and old fears took control. Old thoughts of staying in North Bay resurfaced. Then Nathaniel comes to me and admits he was relieved that the job fell through because he knew it don't feel like him and that everything will work out. As well, my boss and our many friends reassured us that we would be fine and everything will work out. They all encouraged me to change my thoughts and be excited about the new journey we were taking. In the words of my boss - "Enjoy the ride. That is what life is all about. The ups and the downs. When you go down you can always get back up". Well, I did and the day of the move came and I felt excitement mixed with some fear about the new journey ahead.
On the day of the move, Nathaniel and I were shown what relationships were really shown who are friends were. I had som disappointments from a few people, but in the end, I was not surprised by their behaviour because I had seen it coming. But those people who were there that morning helping us pack our life into the back of that Discount van really made my heart swell and know how much we were loved. I held my own during the entire two hours we moved. However, when I locked the door to our beautiful apartment for the last time, I did cry and I cried for a few hours on the drive to Ottawa. I said goodbye that day to my past and turned to the new life ahead of me.
All my fears and doubts about Ottawa have been washing away over the last month. It all began the day we arrived in Ottawa and from the help we recieved from the supervisor and tenants with our move to Nathaniel finding a wonderful new job on our second day here all due to being friendly and open. He has been on an exciting new journey in his work and falling into some great opportunities and meeting wonderful people. We have made new friends; while remaining in connection with old friends, learned new experiences and have begun new practices.
While I looked for a new job, I picked up a new tool to help in the process - the power of affirmations. I recommend reading You Can Heal Your Life
by Lousie Hay. When I felt stressed, this book came into my experience and helped me revamp my mindset. After three weeks of job hunting, after I changed my mind set and created affirmations (posted all over our apartment), I had three jobs offers. I found a job and have been training and looking forward to being successful at it and meeting new people. Then today I got final word on funding for school. After many weeks of positive affirmations, I received news that I was getting funding to pay for school in the Fall. It felt so good receiving such news and knowing that life was truly moving forward for me and Nathaniel. My fears have continued to fade away and I feel now I can truly enjoy the summer ahead of me in our new home.The last two months have been proof that when you feel good about yourself and feel more positive about life and the decisions we make that everything will turn out as it is meant to. That the Universe is always taking care of us, we just need to trust in ourselves and the power we have within ourselves to create the best experience possible. I know now that Nathaniel and I will succeed in Ottawa and we will be very happy.
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